As I’m sitting in the sun a butterfly zips my way and hits me in the back of my head, it’s a surprisingly big thump for such a delicate light insect.
It is night and I am sitting in the sand, I hear the surf close by but I don’t see it. He is here too I can feel it, I don’t see his face but it is him I can feel his smile, although that doesn’t make any sense.
He is right here but I miss him so much it’s painful. He is standing right next to me but I still miss him. And then, there’s the butterfly, again.
A butterfly in the night.
Then I wake and it’s my cat begging for food.
I see the end as clearly as I dimly remember you
I see the darkness creeping slowly, slowly
I see the light, or is it my imagination?
I see, I see . . .
The surf, the sound
I see what I do not see
I feel what I once felt
Darkness and water
I was inspired just now,
I was overwhelmed by sweet piano music,
Overwhelmed by thoughts of soft footsteps on the corridor,
Images of beauty and well, men (one in particular) flooded to me,
And then . . . Nothing.
I would like to be inspired,
What would I imagine?
I would imagine blue-green waters as far as the eye can see, and the sound of the surf and a night sky full of starts. OH, and no men, at all, what-so-ever.
Dusk is falling. The sky is darkening. Deep dark black-blue covers the night sky.
I look at the horizon over the sea. Pink, orange, yellow. Like neon lights the colors stand out in the night.
They’re so bright, so unusual . . .
I feel the sand under my feet but I cannot hear the surf.
I am alone in a huge empty expanse of white sand, with the ocean in front of me. Dark, silent, immense.
I walk and run along the shore, through the water. I am filled with joy, so much so that I’m laughing and I don’t know why. Then I notice I am wearing my tennis shoes, the blue NB ones I had when I attended Black Hills State. I loved those shoes! Wore them until they had holes, literally.
I am wearing them now. I run through the water with them, they’re soaked, and so are my white socks and my feet, but keep running through the water.