Tag Archives: Forget

Anthony David

It seems I am at the end and the beginning, of what it is gone and what it is to come. 

For what may come, I can only dream it, wish it and either, wait for it or run to it. But it would be to run into nothingness.

My dreams come true, if only . . . A memory only or wishful thinking. Unrealistic, exactly, I know reality too well.

To be loved why does it seem that we are not to love ourselves too? To be loved why does it seem that we are to sacrifice our heart and soul?

To keep them, to keep myself then it is for me the endless death of ongoing existence. Or it could only be that I feel sad today and tomorrow he will be gone from my thoughts.

Gone forever, until I see him again or hear him, or maybe until I see a cat or hear the rain. I’ll  forget him until my next Sunday morning cup of coffee.

Or maybe tomorrow I’ll remember when I was hurt, or when I cried, or when I didn’t understand and this thoughts will push him out of my mind.

At the end and at the beginning as it is suppose to be. To make room for what it is to come some things need to be gone. 

Gone, but not gone, never or maybe always.

Sometimes 

Sometimes I remember when I used to wake up at night, with the nightmare still fresh in my mind. With the fear making me cry for an already forgotten reason.

Then I would looked around me in the dark, hear you breathing. Just that sound would make me feel better.

Now, I remember the nightmares, I remember the fear, I remember the sound of your breathing at night what I don’t remember is the way you made me feel. 

Your voice, your touch, the smell of your shampoo because you went to bed with your hair wet. But the way you made me feel is gone. The reason for the way you made me feel is also gone.

I cannot remember why.

Randomness

Floating away in the total blueness of your eyes. Absolute silence, except for the sound of the ocean. I see a big green-blue expanse, no! I don’t, I feel it, around me, enveloping me, carrying me away into oblivion. For it is oblivion to loose myself in you, when I forget all others. There is nothing else and there is everything. Everything within me! And you. You, you, always you. . . . Since before we met and after we are gone and forget each other. Always you. And we will be memories, of nothing and everything. Memories of moments that only i remember. Maybe more. Maybe. . . If what I see is true. That it may be.

A mystery, a life that only makes sense in your eyes.

Will you ever

Will you ever find me if I am not lost?
Will you ever find me when you and I are not in the same path?
Will you ever find me?

Will you ever seek me if you don’t need me?
Will you ever seek me if you desire me?
Will you ever seek me?

Will you ever think of me as I think of you?
Will you ever think of me if you have forgotten me?
Will you ever think of me?

Will I ever find if you are not lost?
Will I ever find you when I know exactly the path you walk?
Will I ever find you?

Will I ever seek you if I don’t need you?
Will I ever seek you if I want you?
Will I ever seek you?

Will I ever think of you as I think of you?
Will I ever think of you if I forget you?
Will I ever think of you?

Photos

Photos I didn’t know I had
Imprinted in my mind
Images of your smile
Burning in my retina.

Photos I didn’t know I had
Of your laugh in the morning sun.

I don’t know why I didn’t now,
Images, sounds, memories . . .

Of everything, of you, of what I don’t want to remember, of what I want to forget.
Why am I afraid to remember?