I got on a plane and reached you, flying away from today and arriving at tomorrow. Will I fly away or would I stay?
In my first dream my sister was dead, but I had a second sister younger still. Her name was Elena and she looked exactly like my recently dream-deceased one.
In my second dream I was a fairy flying through a Victorian house full of wood paneling and winding stairs. It was Christmas night and everything was quiet and dark, like in a children’s book. Only the tree was alight.
In my third dream it was a dark night. A girl wanted to kill me and there was a moped chase through the streets of a housing area. I called the cops and learned how to fire a gun.
In my fourth dream he was there. We were in the yard of a house and he had a water hose in his hand. There were others there and he soaked everybody with it. I looked at him and said “Look at you, impecable as always. Impervious to water.” He smiled and walked mw home.
Soooo, I was watching Bones on Netflix and my mind started wondering. I am not sure why or how but it came to rest upon him.
I tend to fall in love quite easily, I tend to let my imagination fly without restrain and see a future together, see the potential in us. Of course, is always a construct and, on occasion for a short time it can become a reality. But, in the past, until now, until him I would . . . My mind and my heart would wonder and imagine the future life of all that could be. But not with him.
With him I cannot envision a life together, I cannot see the potential that we could have, there are no thoughts of tomorrow or thoughts of a relationship or . . . There are no visions of the future with him. And yet he never leaves me, he never leaves my thoughts.
With him there are only thoughts of sex and conversations,
With him there are only thoughts of his smile and his voice,
With him there are only leaping hearts and flying butterflies.
When I close my eyes I see him smiling and . . . I feel . . .
I feel something I cannot describe, something that makes me smile, something that makes me . . . different. Different because I don’t want dinner dates together and the possibility of a future, I don’t believe we are meant for each other, I . . . I just want to lay in his arms, maybe not forever but as much as I can and hear his voice softly talking to me.
I just want sex and conversation. Nothing more. But is so strange because I don’t think I love him but I could.
It is strange because is only sex, but more than sex, it’s what I feel.
Confusion, elation, joy, sadness, more confusion, lust, desire, desire to run either to him or away from him, fear, self-consciousness, lust, lust and the irrational desire to be near him.
Today I had 2 dreams, 2 very strange dreams. The first one was very long but I don’t remember it all and the second one was very short but I remember nearly all of it.
I remember escaping a great disaster, a nuclear war or an earthquake I’m not quite sure. I was with a man, Steve, and we were literally flying through the blue sky over a turquoise-green seemingly infinite ocean. The air was cool and we soared through sky together with his arms around my waist.
In the horizon I saw a big and solitary gray tower in the middle of a small island. As we approached I saw it was decaying and in ruins, also that it had been some type of military facility.
We landed on one of he top floors, empty and dilapidated. My mind then switched to my second dream.
On my second dream I was in South Dakota in a town that looked a lot like the one Nathan used to live in, on the eastern part of the state.
It was a bright day and the light was cool and crisp, with blue, clear skies (as in all my dreams of late). I was parked at a lonely gas station in an old white sedan.
I had spent all day with Beauwyn, Steve’s son which is exceedingly strange since I have never met him and haven’t been particularly thinking about him. I was at the gas station to meet his grandmother (Steve’s mother) and drop him off. I helped him get off the car, greeted his grandmother and got back in my car. As I was leaving Desiree arrived, she was wearing jeans and a white tank top and her hair was in a pony tail. As I have never met her appearance would be a construct of my mind. As I left she smiled and waved at me.