Tag Archives: day

Dreaming with butterflies

As I’m sitting in the sun a butterfly zips my way and hits me in the back of my head, it’s a surprisingly big thump for such a delicate light insect.

It is night and I am sitting in the sand, I hear the surf close by but I don’t see it. He is here too I can feel it, I don’t see his face but it is him I can feel his smile, although that doesn’t make any sense.

He is right here but I miss him so much it’s painful. He is standing right next to me but I still miss him. And then, there’s the butterfly, again.

A butterfly in the night.

Then I wake and it’s my cat begging for food.


[My?] Wedding

I’m not sure if it was day or night, I don’t think it was day time since I don’t remember the light of the sun or the sky. I was in a dining room with my father and I was wearing a wedding dress. The dress was very 50’s one of those bell-shaped dresses that reaches right below the knee, with a lot of lace. I looked around and saw my father was dressed nearly totally in black and that all his team members from work were there. I got angry, it was my wedding day and he hadn’t taken time off work.

We argued about it and started walking towards a door at the other side of the room. I don’t remember who opened the door but suddenly we were at the other side. I was a big room but it felt crowded, full of round tables and people fancily dressed, looking up at me and smiling. I looked around and found my husband, it seemed that we had already been married.

At the table to my immediate left it sat my husband, to my surprise it was A., who of course is not my husband or my anything, well he’s a co-worker. Certainly I do not wish to marry him! But there he was nonetheless, with a wedding suit on and a smile. Then people started changing “Kiss, kiss, kiss!” I walked towards him and stood beside him, I looked down as he laughed and refused to kiss me with me. I kissed his forehead and woke up.

End of the Day

So I’m sitting here at my desk at the end of my day and wondering if I’m doing something wrong. Am I living my life the right way? Am I trying to be happy the wrong way? Basically, today at the end of my day I evaluated my entire, full, working day and decided that it had been a good day. Based not on work productivity, not on house chores completed  . . . I based the decision that it was a good day today solely on the fact that he smiled at me and more than once.

This crush is, in fact, getting serious.


Blue skies and no cloud in sight, I look down at my feet and there they are, in my black stockings but, where are my shoes? I can feel the pavement, but it’s cold not warm as you would expect. I am smiling, I can feel it. I’m laughing to, I can hear it. As I climb in the car I look around, there you are, and also there they are. The car is black, and so is your suit, and . . . all our clothes. I am wearing black, that’s not unusual.

There you are, but your hair is different, slightly longer and less . . . perfect. You look good, are we together?

We go to dinner with your friends but I don’t know what we are having I can’t see the dishes. I look around, at the round tables with white linens, and the people chatting and laughing and I see you smiling at me, and I see . . . me, laughing as you touch my leg under the table.

I am wearing a black dress, that is unusual, and pantyhose, even more unusual.

You laugh, which I have only seen you do when you have  had a few drinks.

We behave with the familiarity that comes from sharing a bed.


Last night I had a weird dream, which could be said of any and all dreams, in my dream I was in Spain, in a medieval Spanish town in modern times. It had pieces of places I had been or places I’d seen, like a collage of memories with some imagination thrown in there.
The dream took place during a warm summer day, with the white light coming down from the bluest of skies and reflecting on the cobblestones. I can’t remember much of the dream, and honestly forgot all bout it until a few moments ago. In the dream I meet with Ruben, from my Chemistry Major back in Spain and he gives me his phone number, now there was a 70 at the beginning and a 11339 at the end, but there are some digits missing.

I decided to Google  11339 and this is what came up:

  • OIP5 Opa interacting protein 5 [ Homo sapiens (human) ] Gene ID: 11339
  • Office of Coast Survey Chart 11339
  • ISO 11339:2010 Adhesive