Category Archives: Romantic Love

In love

You cannot make someone love you.

You just have to let them go.

It is hard and it is painful.

There is only pain and darkness.

The way I feel now

They burn my face, the cut my skin leaving behind the proof of my emptiness.

I bear the scars of my love and my loss and the pain . . . The pain so sweet and the release so complete.

The oblivion and the darkness of death calls me to them. Or are they in me already?

The numbness spreads from within me, the ice.

The ice sharp as needles, from inside me slowly crawling to the surface.

To feel it. To feel nothing. To slowly give in.

Accept to be one, only one. In the cold, in the darkness, in the arid emptiness of human life.

Believe him

Believe him when he shows you who he truly is.

He asked me to go to dinner, we are not dating just fucking, just friends.

He asked me if he treats me respectfully, if he treats me right, I said yes.

He ditch me to dog-sit for a friend. He did not asked if I mind, he did not asked if I cared.

This is not respectful, this is not considerate.

“If you would have minded, I would have done the same. I wouldn’t have cared.”

We are not dating, just fucking, just friends. Don’t I deserve respect?

This is who he truly is. With me because there’s nothing else. Not caring if I care.

No respect for a friend, no respect for myself.

He has shown me who he truly is. I believe him.

 

If I Love You

If I love you and I don’t tell you,
Is because I love you,
And I don’t want to lose you.

If I love you and I don’t tell you,
I’m sure you already know it,
And I don’t want to lose you.

If I love you and I don’t tell you,
Is because I’m afraid,
Afraid that you don’t love me.

If I love you and don’t tell you,
Is because I know you’ll be afraid,
And you will run away from yourself and what you feel.

If I love you and I don’t tell you
Is because I love you,
So there it is.

Powerless

I walk through the darkness of my own feelings, guided by the hand of a man who . . . a man whom I don’t know. This realization comes slightly as a surprise, I don’t know him and our closeness has always beenĀ  . . . fragile.
I am not in love, I am not in love, I am not in love.
A mantra, my mantra.
Lost, confused, powerless. What can I do to regain my power