I randomly start writing and this is what comes out. I think of him and inevitably think of sex, is no wonder,  you don’t have to be a hormone-ranging teenager to think about someone and to immediately sex pops into your mind. I walk along a beach now, I remember the smell of the ocean so clearly. As soon as I feel the sand under me it’s like no time has elapse whatsoever. It is so strange . . .I cannot understand it and yet, I understand Einstein the Theory of Relatively perfectly. It’s all in less than a second. The sun, the sand, the water . . . And suddenly time doesn’t exist anymore. All the hours and days and infinite, infinite seconds of every moment of your life since you left that place dissolve into nothingness. The same nothingness that has accompanied me for so long . . . Or is it you? So long that it has disappeared. And there, there is darkness, all around us, inside us, coming out of us thorough our words. Words are a construct, like the entirety of reality is just a construct. Now I’m thinking of The Matrix and also thinking if this makes any sense. And by this I mean all that I have just written.


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