He is not here

He is not here, he disappeared  from my life. And you ask “Why do I love him regardless of the wounds?” You, who are here.
The memories of him fill my mind. I just cannot forget the way he looked at me, the feel of his touch, the weight of his body on mine.

He is not here, that I know, and I won’t find him in your touch. To kiss you . . . It is sickening when I am thinking of him. Tonight I’ll imagine a truce. I don’t want to think of him. I’ll forget his absence in your embrace.

And if I kiss you the night might be shorter, who knows . . . I cannot forget him alone. I need you to stay and fill his absence. I want you to fill his emptiness within me. Please stay.

He never said good bye after he devoured my passion. His heart belongs to someone else, I am not even a memory in his mind. I have forgotten my own name, and his lives constantly in my mind. What coldness tonight . . .

I’ll pretend to love you just for one night, but by dawn you’ll lose me because I cannot scape him. And if I kiss you hard you will know my pain. And if I hold you close you’ll know the dreams he stole.

Naked I’ll give myself to you. But you are not him.

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