Flash back

Today I had a flash-back to my pre-teen years. Those years full of daydreaming about the boy next door (oh, wait I still do that . . . Never mind then), those years spying him at the bus stop, those days trying to devise the name of my true love through a ouija board.

Today I read his love horoscope prediction for the year 2015, as if my name would be predicted as his One True Love (yes, Princess Bride I know). I don’t know what has gotten into me lately but I am continuously reversing to a less-mature behaviour. Drunk texting falling into this category.

I do understand that the way I feel about him has to do with me, not with him, that I can control my feelings and I can control my actions but for some reasons thinking about him makes me feel like an awkward girl all over again. Remembering being in his presence makes me giggle. Remembering his voice make my head swim. His touch . . . I tremble all over.

Back to the drunk texting.

I commit myself not to contact him for reasons previously stated on a post. The first time lasted 9 days until he called me. The second time lasted 12 days until I texted him in my drunken stupor. And now I’m going on my third time Day 3.

The content of my text was something like this:

I’m here with [mutual friend] having a blast. Drunk texting is not my thing but anyways. I wanted to let you know I sometimes masturbate to you. I already know you will not answer this text. Also I think you have women issues, not that is any of m business anyways. Hope you have a good weekend.

I cannot remember the last time a drunk-texted and yes, I am well aware that the statement may sound contradictory in a way. Truthfully, I felt a mild embarrassment at first but then laughter came. Oh god! I’m 17 again!

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