Why? (I decided not to call or text you)

  1. No, we’re not on the same page. Got it, loud and clear.
  2. I was cleaning and I forgot to call you. On your priority list I am below house cleaning, right.
  3. Let’s Skype tomorrow. (Tomorrow meaning NEVER apparently).
  4. [ . . . . .]  = No text response.
  5. [ . . . . .]  = No text response.
  6. [ . . . . .]  = No text response.
  7. [some text response] Hours later
  8. I don’t feel like talking because I have been talking to [insert ex girlfriend/on-and-off whatever/baby mama/etc]. I love this one, since I enjoy suffering your pre-conceived ideas of women because of you previous relationship (or is it ongoing relationship?)
  9. I was going through my junk mail and thought of you. Yes, great association.
  10. I have to remember that you are not her.  Indeed. It’s soooo hard to NOT mistake me with her.
  11. I was thinking of calling you [but not actually calling you]. Thinking about something is not exact;y the same as doing something.

And these are some of the reasons why, oh sweetness, I have decided not to call you or text you. Because, even thought our conversations make me wet myself in pleasure, I am absolutely crushed when I hear any (or variations) of the above statements.

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