Into the night I dive, into the noise and the isolation, into the strangeness. The voices surround me, the smell of smoke and sweat, it’s all too familiar and also . . . different, something is missing, someone is missing but who?
My senses are dulled, I am getting there, my vision is softened and a languid feeling crawls through my body, I tilt my head and weird thoughts start emerging from my mind.
Thoughts, weird, strange, they don’t make sense . . . I laugh. Everything makes sense.
I do. He does . . .
No, he doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t make sense to me. Does he make sense to himself?
I am responsible for my own pain.
I am hell and I am heaven.
I suffer for myself and I feel happy for myself.
I am hell, I am hell, I am hell . . . No other is responsible for my own feelings. I am responsible for my own feelings. I am responsible for my own feelings. I am responsible for my own . . .
If this is true why I cannot forget him?
The ache never ends. Why?