Phone Sex (Text Sex?)

I don’t love him (I love him, the other him) yet I used him.
It wasn’t real sex, it was . . . sexting, it was enough.
If I loved him I wouldn’t have used him.
He used me too.
If we both used each other, do our actions cancelled each other?
If we talked about it, agreed on mutual un-feeling, is it using?
It wasn’t that hot, maybe I faked it a little.
Because him it’s not him.

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3 thoughts on “Phone Sex (Text Sex?)”

  1. I heard you. Lately I’ve been watching back episodes of Sex and the City, and see myself entering a kind of mindset I didn’t have when they first aired. Your musings here would have intrigued Carrie Bradshaw.

    On my end, I think if we were even a little emotionally open and vulnerable during the act (physical, or by phone, by chat or by text or whatever), then we gave up a part of ourselves to the other person and that doesn’t count as pure using. It’s something more complicated, and more redeemable, albeit only in self-absolution. You know?

    Just the fact that you’re asking means you’re personally beyond an open-and-shut case of using. It is deeper.

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    1. Thank you for your comment. Yes, complicated does describe the situation or maybe complicated in its extreme simplicity. Self-absolution seems to be what I need, who else matters really? Again, thanks for your comment.

      Like

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